I want thank you for your wonderful tenacity which you used to initially work through your own anxiety. I loved reading your story. But you didn't stop at helping yourself, you used your experience and ever growing knowledge to help so many others.
Your anxiety website offered me the first glimmer of hope when I was in such despair. I worked my way through chapter after chapter of all you had written and identified with so much. I also gained understanding of all that was happening in my body and mind.
I was also deeply troubled because I am a Christian and felt that as such I shouldn't be in the state I was in. It was a huge comfort to me to see that other Christians had been the same state before me and that it did not make me a failure.
When I read that I could increase my chances of full recovery by 40% if I had a personal coach or counsellor I did not need to think too long about it. I knew I didn't want to live in the state I was in. If there was a way out I was taking it.
I read the profiles of all the counsellors available. I wanted to make a good choice. I finally settled on one of your female anxiety therapists. She understands the culture I live in. She is also an ex nurse. I am a nurse and wanted someone who could understand the culture I work in. Nurses also develop similar patterns of thinking. It was a good choice.
It was such a relief to finally talk to someone who understood what was happening to me. I think I cried the whole first session (and during others!). She gave me homework which was painful but necessary. I did a lot of writing! She was firm with me and demanded complete honesty. This too was necessary. I needed to learn that I am not a victim of my circumstances, that I am no longer that little girl who asked for help but couldn't get it, who could never be good enough for anyone, even God ,especially God. I was waiting for rejection at every turn.
I needed to learn that I am my own person and I am free to make my own choices. That I am a person of value who is easy to love. That I am allowed to have my own voice and that conflict is not a thing to be avoided at all costs but can actually be a good and positive thing. That I can set boundaries.
I am still a work in progress, but I now have the tools I need to keep developing and growing. I am so grateful to you and your therapist for giving me that wonderful gift. I can now get up and look forward to the day. I get pleasure out of life. There are still stressors, but they no longer cripple me, I can deal with them and move on.
When I used to read the bible, it was hard for me to believe that all those good and wonderful promises were for me. I could believe them for everyone else, but not for myself. As I read my bible now, that is changing. It is so much easier to believe that all the good stuff is for me too. I think that is the best gift of all. To finally, really be able to start to see myself through God's eyes. What a wonderful gift.
Thank you so much,
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