Do you live passively? If you took our self-test last week, you have your answer. If you haven’t, you can test yourself here:

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tests/passive-test.shtml

Most people who experience anxiety live passively. For example, from last week alone, those who took our self-test scored an average rating of 62, which places the passivity rating in the category of “High to Very High Passivity.” This means that on average, most of those who took the test last week scored well above what is considered to be normal and healthy.

Certainly, you can have an anxiety condition and not live passively, but that is the exception, not the rule.

Living passively means not standing up for yourself or your rights. When we acquiesce, we voluntarily submit and compromise our rights and will to others. 

Getting along with others and not being abrasive are admirable qualities, but voluntarily living as a doormat is unhealthy, not only for you, but also for your relationships.

Studies have shown that those who live passively are more likely to develop a behavioral disorder (depression, anxiety, workaholism, stress disorder, sleep disorder, and anger disorder) than those who live assertively.

Studies also have shown that those who live passively most often have problematic or dysfunctional relationships.

While passive personalities think that they are doing themselves a favor by avoiding conflict and being nice, they are, unfortunately, harming themselves and their relationships.

In July, we were talking about false beliefs­­ (beliefs that we believe are true, but are actually false). This segment is a continuation of that theme. Living passively is an example of believing something to be true when, in fact, it’s actually false.

What we mean by this is: passive personalities BELIEVE that the world should be “nice, happy, and safe.” To accomplish this, they believe that everyone should just get along, and so, that’s their agenda: to just get along and not make waves. Theoretically, it sounds like a good approach, but in actuality, it doesn’t work.

Rather than producing a secure, peaceful, and happy life, living passively produces an insecure, turbulent, and unhappy life. Living passively also produces anxiety, stress, fear, worry, anger, resentment, shallow relationships, low self-esteem, and negativity. It also sets us up for unhealthy expectations, perfectionism, and depression–all characteristics of an anxiety personality.

So while we may truly believe living passively is the way to peace, harmony, and fulfillment, all of the evidence indicates that it actually produces the opposite…a good example of a belief that we believe to be true, when in fact, it’s really false.

Next week, we’re going to dig further into this “false belief” and use it as an example of how to change unhealthy beliefs into healthy beliefs. At the same time, we’re going to address passivity and how to live healthier…for yourself, and for those you are in relationship with. Killing two subjects with one stone, so to speak. See you then.