week we asked: Are you REALLY being treated as an equal?
is a summary of the responses:
0 – 20 - Healthy. Everyone treats
you as an equal: 12.9 percent
21 – 40
- Mildly unhealthy. Most people treat you as an
equal: 22.4 percent
41 – 60
- Unhealthy. Some people treat you as an equal:
61 – 80
- Very unhealthy. The majority of people don’t
treat you as an equal: 27.6 percent
81 – 100
- Extremely unhealthy. No one treats you as an equal:
people mentioned that they were surprised by their test results.
They initially thought that they were being treated as an equal,
however when they took the test, they discovered that they
weren’t being treated as an equal as often as they thought
these results, only 12.9 percent of those who took our test
have healthy relationships. 87.1 percent have unhealthy relationships.
the majority of stress, anxiety, sleep, and depression disorders
are caused by our interpersonal relationships, the healthier
our relationships are, the healthier we’ll be. Unfortunately,
the reverse is also true.
those who scored in the healthy range, good for you. Those
of you who didn’t, you have some work to do.
leads to Assertive Tip #3: IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
TO FIX THE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT AREN’T WORKING. You
must take ownership for repairing the damage in your life.
No one else is responsible for the work YOU must do. Therefore,
it’s your responsibility to teach others how you want
to be treated. It’s your job to fix this, not theirs.
will treat you the way THEY want, unless YOU teach them otherwise.
Therefore, YOU have work to do if you aren’t being treated
as an equal. It’s not the work THEY need to do.
you aren’t being treated as an equal, you are failing
to teach others that you want to be treated differently. As
harsh as this truth sounds, it’s also good news, because
you CAN change this problem. It’s fully within your realm
responsibility is to control you and everything about you,
including your part in your relationships. If you aren’t
being treated as an equal, you have the right to let them know
through words, actions, or behaviors, that you don’t
accept the behavior that they are directing toward you. Remember,
as an equal human being, you have the right to be treated the
way YOU want to be treated, whether they agree with it or not.
are many ways of doing this, and we’re going to address
some of them in future Tips. For this week, however, recognize
that you can change this relationship imbalance, and it’s
your job to do so. It’s your responsibility.
recognize that it’s NOT your job to change others, because
that’s the work THEY must do. You are responsible for
changing YOU. They are responsible for changing themselves.
Trying to control or change others is unhealthy.
you prepared to assume the responsibility to fix the things
in your life that aren’t working?
you prepared to assume the responsibility of teaching others
how you want to be treated?
you prepared to say, “I’m solely responsible
for me. It’s my job to fix what isn’t right in
my life. It’s my fault that I’m not being treated
equally and I’m going to do the work require to repair
ownership for our life, behavior, and resulting consequences
is an important step in becoming healthier. It’s required
before any true change can occur.
serenity prayer, written by Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr, is a good
example of how we can approach this work:
grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can change,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
development is about the work we do as an individual, to bring
about a positive change in our self, our relationships, and
our happiness. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships
become. The healthier our relationships become, the happier
and more satisfied we become. This can become a wonderfully
positive cycle, and one that benefits us directly. Yes, it’s
work, but this work can produce a lifetime of benefits and
freedom. Once done, it’s done for good.
a great week.
For more information about anxiety
symptoms, see our Anxiety
NOTE: The Member's area of our website
contains a more comprehensive section on anxiety symptoms, including
completed descriptions, why they occur, and tips on how to get
rid of them.