|We’d like to thank those who
completed our mini-poll on true happiness. We were pleasantly surprised
to see the large number of respondents, and the quality and variety
of comments submitted. Due to the large response, we will post
a random selection of the comments here once we have finished reviewing
all of the submissions. Hopefully, they should be online before
Based on the responses we received, the poll results from last
week are as follows:
Question 1: On a scale of 1 to 10, rate
your present state of being truly happy (1 means not happy
at all, 10 means the happiest you can be):
Rating of 1: 9%
Rating of 2: 6%
Rating of 3: 9%
Rating of 4: 13%
Rating of 5: 21%
Rating of 6: 14%
Rating of 7: 16%
Rating of 8: 8%
Rating of 9: 3%
Rating of 10: 1%
Average rating: 5.02
Question 2: Do you believe true happiness
Question 3: Based on how you feel, not
by what you think, on average, do you feel loved and accepted
for who you are?
The folks at anxietycentre.com believe that true happiness is
attainable. However, we believe that there are a number of factors
that need to come together before true happiness can be sustained.
While the degree of each factor can, and will vary from person
to person, it’s our experience that they must all be present
before true happiness can be maintained.
Next week, we’ll begin to define what those factors are,
and how important they are to overall happiness.
Here are some of the comments we received when we asked, "What
would make you truly happy?":
- For question number three, I do feel loved and accepted
for who I am by my children, family, and friends, but not
my husband. That would make me truly happy. I
just feel like I don't measure up to what he needs or expects
me to be, and that causes me to feel down most of the time.
- Having just one friend, even if it's just for 10 minutes.
- I am usually a very happy person! However, I have been
sick lately and the doctors are still doing discovery. This
sickness caused me to be totally dependant on my husband. This
is VERY unusual for me but I am learning to deal with it. I
am not sure if finding another job will make me feel my purpose
again or if I need to relax and let my husband take care of
me while I am recovering. On the other hand, I have always
had my own paycheck.
- Job Satisfaction-loving what I do for a living
Being respected for who I am and for the decisions I make by
my Family and my partner
More self-confidence in my abilities.
- The right girl to be my wife.
- To have the love and presence of friends and family and a
romantic love interest as well.
- Not worry so much.
- Peace of mind! Right now my world is grey and my feelings
numb. I crave some element of joy in my life but feel ill equipped
to find any.
- Having a job that I enjoyed is first and foremost. Making
a bit more money would help, as I am financially strapped all
- Being mutually in love .... Love & affection & Being
- Just to feel ok about myself, to feel appreciated and not
feel so inadequate. Would like to not care what other
people think of me.
- A perfect life, no worries, everything i want, but not being
boring, perfect wealth and health for me and my loved ones,
not worrying about wars and meteors and illness, knowing everything
will be ok in the end.
- To have freedom and be able to do all the things I long to
do after 23 years agoraphobic, not to have anxiety, panic attacks
- I believe happiness is a choice. When what I think, say,
and do is in harmony...I am most happy.
- Having the emotional, physical, financial means to accomplish
my goals and step up to my responsibilities adequately so that
I might be able to breathe.
- For me to be loved and accepted for being me and enjoying
the time that we have without living in worry and fear and
being concerned by what others may think of us.
- My partner getting back from his travels safe and sound.
- Knowing what people really thought of me.
Wishing people were more blunt and less sarcastic.
Feeling like I'm not a joke to those around me.
People being more honest with me.
- The freedom to be at every moment my own.
- Feeling like I mattered to at least one person in this world.
I wish someone cared more.
- I think happiness is a state of mind that comes and goes
and is effected by everything within us and around us. It's
hard to say what would make me truly happy because it's a constantly
evolving state of mind...
- To have more self-motivation and self-esteem. To feel
- Balance of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual
aspects of my life. More time to devote to relationships
and physical fitness. Work/life harmony.
- I stopped feeling so much anxiety and worry about things
that are out of my control. If I stopped having obsessive thoughts
about things that I know would never happen.
- People having more understanding of mental health problems,
and not prejudging me, without having first walked in my shoes.
- Honestly, A loving family. Also, if I could have never had
been sexually abused as a teenager.
- Living a life free from overwhelming anxiety. I understand
anxiety is a part of life but the life controlling side of
it truly is sad. Personal and professional success is
one thing I strive for and it is so hard to achieve when almost
every day you don’t want to even face life.
- I am not sure....it seems i have been unhappy for most of
my life. i don't know why i am always wanting what i can't
have. i am never satisfied.
- What would make me truly happy is to rid myself of Late Stage
Lyme disease. I am too young and suffer as though I was 100
years old. I just can't plant a garden, or go grocery shopping
like others. I want my life back, and have spent thousands
of dollars trying to do so. I'm tired of crying!
- If 'truly' was spelled correctly in this question. [This
one made us chuckle, because we did spell truly incorrectly
- To be happy with who I am, not to worry about what other's
think. To have the courage to make changes, which I know
deep down are necessary in order to be happier, but which I
cannot do because other people will be hurt. How
can I be happier if I hurt others? I would like to be
more disciplined in my life so that I take care of my health
and finances better. I don't think I do this now because
I am unhappy and it is the only outlet I have.
- Being appreciated in my job, being able to separate work
from home life. Not worrying about things all the time. More
quality time with my kids. Lots of money.
- My family would be happy and healthy and not have money problems.
- To be normal, no panic, no insecurity, a little kindness.
- My own inner acceptance of who I am, an understanding of
what I really want from life, where I will go in life and truly
being ok with that. I need to be decisive make long put
off choices, which may be really impossible to do but I know
my own happiness won't exist without my own answers.
- At this point, to be truly happy would be to have more balance
in my life. Due to family illness, job uncertainties,
and my loved one moving away, it has been rather difficult
to maintain a hopeful outlook. I'm trying each day to
be grateful for my many blessings, and to work towards a new
career, which I think will help my outlook and my happiness
-- when you do something you love, it makes all the difference
in all areas of your life.
- If I didn't wake up everyday worrying about having anxiety.
- Right now, being happy would be the absence of worry. I
can worry about everything - including worrying about worrying
itself. It's a destructive thing in my life that I think
keeps me from being happy with just who I am and where I am
in life. I see others who don't worry, and they have
a happiness within them that I don't seem to have. They
love life more, it seems. I'd love to get rid of this
burden on my back and just 'be.' If I could do that successfully,
I think I'd be a lot happier.
- One day without anxiety
- Being in love and have a family.
- I don't know what happiness feels like or what it truly means.
- To finish school, make enough money to be comfortable, lose
weight, relax, do things, actually have money to buy me something
every once in a while.
- To constantly feel the love and grace of God. To be
able to endure the struggles with patience and to trust that
all is for my salvation.
- To have more time to spend with my friends and my loved ones. To
be home more and relax.
- Good health and contentment for my family and friends.
- To have a totally worry-free life.
- To see my 18yr old make a good life for himself so that I
can stop (or cut down) worrying about him. He has had such
a tough go of it, and he is always on my mind. Other then that,
I can handle and be happy with most everything else in my life.
I have learned that happiness is truly a state of mind, but
also accepting what you can change (and do just that), and
be ok with what you cannot. My son has to be my biggest worry.
- A loving relationship with a man who loves me for who I am.
Not controlling, jealous, or puts me high on a pedestal.
- Not feeling sick anymore, emotionally or physically. Living
a free life of anxiety and never having to think about the
- I often get tripped up when I focus on being married and
having a family and that making me happy. When I am truly happy
is when I am making a difference in this world and making others
happy. Then my selfish concerns seem to drift away. God is
the steadying force in my life and when trouble overwhelms
me and I respond in the wrong way that is when I lose my focus.
- TO HAVE TRUE LOVE. FROM LOVE ONE
- I really don't know. Somewhere down the road I lost my desires
and passions for life and I'm not sure what they are anymore.
That can be depressing and cause anxiety. You feel unproductive
and worthless like everyone else has something you don't. I'm
trying to discover what makes me happy but I know I would be
even more unhappy if I didn't have Jesus in my heart.
- For my spouse and child to get along and not to have an icky
- Achieving my goals, having someone to share my life with,
being content with what I have, not what I don't have.
- Knowing I could eventually quit the rat race and be comfortable.
Not particularly rich....just comfortable. Not particularly
inactive...just not hectic, bordering on frantic. Not particularly
bored...just mellow. Not particularly fawned over...just knowing
someone somewhere loves me warts and all. Not particularly
worried because I finally realize that when it's over down
here there is a God who will welcome me, has a sense of humor,
and says 'hey, let me show you around. I think you'll like
- Ensuring that my entire nuclear family is well, happy, successful,
safe, comfortably-off financially and loved and in a loving
relationship, including me.
- Security, and to get rid of panic attacks.
- No financial worries anymore, not struggling financially,
sell my house, improve my current career situation, not caring
what others thought of me.
- To find a happiness that I feel a security with and that
makes me feel accepted for who I am, and allows me to believe
anything is achievable.
- Peace in my family, respect from my family, true friends,
close family, trust in family and friendship.
- Living a long healthy life with my husband and children.
- No clue
- I think I'd be truly happy if I was able to 'not stress out'
and not yell at my kids all the time... If I could really enjoy
being a mom I think I'd be happy. If I had a better handle
on things. If I could stop sweating the small stuff and
the large stuff.
- Being in a secure loving committed relationship.
- I always said all I want in my life is peace and after all
these years I finally found it with a man I truly love and
who truly loves me. To me that is happiness.
- To lead a better lifestyle, be a better mother, and not worry
so much about what other's think of me.
- To be out of debt.
- A job that will fulfill my creative outlets--one that I feel
is a good outlet for me, one that delivers rewards (ie. one
that I feel good at, one that enables me to uplift other people
as well, one that pays reasonably well, one that gives good
- World peace and a comfortable life. Not too much money but
enough to really do the things I want without working for it
the rest of my life.
- Faith; Shared love; Acceptance; Evolution in small steps
but durable; A good running; Discussing with people; Walking;
Faith again; True friends; Nature; Bikes (roads) rather than
cars; Simple things; A smile; Children; Innocence; Human being's
power to get beyond sadness, illness, hate, or destruction
(of themselves or of others); A smile again; More faith; Family;
Children again. I can continue, but in the end all these small
positive things are by themselves something huge; but when
coming together, they are the human being itself: love, wisdom
and power - none is working without the other, and only used
together can lead somebody to happiness and to feel complete
as a human being.
- A job that I truly love, more money for the family,
a bit of recognition for what I do at times
- I would like to not be so busy that I felt like I was missing
out on things with my kids.
- Feeling confident in myself. Not worrying and overanalyzing.
- Being content and happy with who I am. Love.
- I would like to be able to be confident and happy about myself.
- Good health and to stop worrying.
- If people would leave me alone, stop asking me to do things
for them, stop expecting me to always be there for them, respect
my boundaries and show some consideration (like I do for other
- To be married, have a job I truly enjoy, and love going to
that would fit my needs and wants.
- To win the lottery.
- To have my daughter not have type one diabetes at such an
- To lose weight.
- To have my own home.
- To have more time to be with my kids.
- To have a maid service for just one month.
- To have both of my kids marry Christians.
- To be anxiety free and not worry constantly about my health
and the health of my family.
- To become a better (more patient) mother, to be more lovable,
one of the most important is to get rid of anxiety attacks
and stop worrying!
- Being able to let go of someone who, for the most part, makes
me very unhappy. I worry about him constantly as he's going
through a very rough time in his life, but he's not doing anything
about it and seems to be dragging me down with him. I don't
know how to let go.
- Currently I am going through having to make a major change
in my employment. I am not comfortable with major changes in
my life and fear the 'what if's' that may or may not occur.
Others take to major changes in life very easily, I do not.
The 'not knowing' when or how long this change will take, is
very fearful to me.
Waking up tomorrow knowing what direction my life is headed
would make me happy, and would help gain the confidence back
I am used. Only time will tell....
- I would like to get my degree, live my life the way God has
commanded me to live, lose a few pounds, and to have a family
of my own. I would also like to own my own business.
- To wake up in the morning to enjoy and love going to work,
have a husband who is my best friend that is supportive, respectful,
hard working and compassionate. I would love to start
a family and build a life with someone special. I
would love to be able to travel and retire comfortably. To
have my family safe and healthy would also make me extremely
- An end to all suffering.
- Being financially stable and to have a loving family.
- To get away from all this anxiety and depression.
- I think that time will make me happy. Overall I am
a very happy person but I have just suffered the loss of my
father and feel that I have been robbed of the ability to share
important moments with him. In other words, my unhappiness
is circumstantial and does not stem from a dislike of myself
as a person.
- TO LIVE WITH JESUS CHRIST FOREVER.
- Having more control over my life: work, schedule, finances,
etc. I would like to have more freedom to do the things I really
enjoy, and though I do like my job, I often wish I could stay
home and do other things.
I recently moved to the mountains which is beautiful but it
has isolated me some and I miss having a support group and
trusted and close group of friends. I also really miss having
a boyfriend. I always feel better about life when I do.. we
all need hugs!
I also have several personal goals I would like to attain..
becoming registered as an Architect, getting in better shape,
running a few races, finishing a painting I started and a couple
- So far I have been trying to surround myself with people
who don't doubt me. As in, I am trying to surround myself
with supportive, positive people. And that works pretty
well! Accepting MYSELF unconditionally has been my challenge,
and it gets better every day.
- What would make me truly happy? I don't know. Do
we ever know what could make us truly happy? I know that
if I could talk to a certain someone in my life, that I would,
or might be happier. We'll see.
- To find inner peace free from anxiety and anxious thoughts.
Also to find someone who I feel I can talk to about my feelings.
A friend that has been there also. I have great friends but
I sometimes wonder if I tire them when I describe what happens
to me from my anxiety. I don't mean to, however, I just don't
think they have the full understanding of what a person with
anxiety goes through.
- To be relieved of medical conditions to include depression,
stress and anxiety, and to find a good job in my field helping
- Well, obviously, to have little or no anxiety -- at least
none that I could not accept or control. I believe much
of my anxiety has been caused by life events and my own outlook,
which is changing for the better. I do not love my job,
but many people do not -- and yet are still happy. I
know that I am loved by many others, and they know that I love
them as well -- and it's always good to hear it and say it.
- Living a contented working life with little or no financial
worries. Knowing that you and those around you and most important
to you are in good health. Being satisfied in your personal
life with your wife and family.
- Having more money, loving stable relationship happy healthy
- My kids are doing well and everyone in my family is happy
and healthy. That I have work that is meaningful and
- To have the stomachaches go away while I'm at school (I'm
in high school) and to not feel like I'm always being judged
and examined by the world...I hate these feelings.
- I have a good job to pay all needs of my family.
- Not to have to worry about my immediate family state of health.
Not to worry about financial problems. Just to have a peace
of mind and to know that no matter what everything is going
to be okay.
- Better Career. More accomplishments.
- To be free of anxiety; to have a spouse that isn't quite
as sensitive and reactive; to have an easier time financially;
to have more male friends and a hobby or interest that is solely
- To complete my training and finally go to work in my chosen
field, and to have complete job security again. Other than
that, I can truly say that I am happy in every other aspect
of my life.
- Being with someone truly special. If you have that,
everything else would seem secondary (but still important!).
- A slightly bigger house. More money for projects and
endeavors and no debt. Vacations with my husband
and kids that are not entirely restricted by time and money. Less
obligations (organized events, planned get-togethers, etc...).
- A fulfilling job, a loving relationship, my own house, loyal
- I'm not sure.
- If things between me and my ex - girlfriend had gone a lot
better, and my parents were still together.
- Being loved and accepted by someone outside of my family.
Not being afraid anymore. Accepting my mortality. Finding my
faith. Connecting with God.
- Being married to the man I have lived with for 18 years.
- Having my daughter appreciate me and love me.
- Having enough money to be able to get my meds and pay my
bills and occasionally buy something for myself. And live comfortably.
- Finding a person with whom I could share my most intimate
hopes and dreams, who would know the worst about me and would
never use the knowledge as a weapon to hurt me. Someone who
first and foremost is my friend and second and last is my soul
mate and lover.
- To move closer to my relatives.
- A true, real connection and daily relationship with God.
I know attaining this has more to do with me than God, so I
guess part of this factor would translate into achieving more
- Knowing my loved ones are safe, healthy and happy (this is
true most of the time).
- Knowing I'm living my life according to God's divine purpose
- Health for myself.
- Being comfortable with myself.
- No financial worries.
- Knowing my being here made this world better in some way.
- Answering for myself, I would say that to be truly happy,
I need to feel at peace with the world around me.
- To be thin.
- Time - to continue to uncover who I really am. Eventually
to be truly comfortable in my own skin, non-judgmental, compassionate,
empathic and accepting of myself, warts and all. To have worked
through and let go off all the childhood traumas along with
the dysfunctional coping skills and defenses that keep me stuck.
I'm on the right path (2.5 years of therapy).
- To not worry about things and just go with the flow, but
- Right now, getting off blood pressure medication-LOL. Other
than that, I am quite content with my life. I think true happiness
isn't based on one thing, like 'I'll be perfectly happy once
I get my promotion...get married...have a baby,' but a sum
of many things in your life: decent health, loving family,
comfortable home, pets, etc.
- Being myself and not what everyone wants me to be. I want
to feel really love and care not with just buying stuff for
me. Just want affection.
- I don’t know I am still searching for it.
- Having better working conditions and a better salary.
Living in another country where I could feel secure about my
family and my possessions. Getting rid of my PMS.
- Feeling at peace and secure. Having true and unfailing faith
For more information about anxiety
symptoms, see our Anxiety
NOTE: The Member's area of our website
contains a more comprehensive section on anxiety symptoms, including
completed descriptions, why they occur, and tips on how to get
rid of them.