"There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it ill behooves any of us,
To say anything about the rest of us."
- Anonymous

"Our judgments judge us; and nothing reveals us [or] exposes our weaknesses more ingeniously than the attitude of pronouncing upon our fellows."
- Paul Valery

A critical and judgmental attitude will rob us of the joy that interactions with others can bring. We are all unique, and that uniqueness can bring wonderful richness and enjoyment to our lives. Why is it, then, that we are so critical of others?

Many of us struggle with our own problem of low self-esteem. When we are critical of others, it somehow makes us feel better about ourselves. That, however, is a backwards approach and does nothing to “fix” the true problem which resides within us.

We engage in this destructive and joy stealing behavior, because we get caught up thinking that everyone is thinking critical of us. We imagine that what we don’t like about ourselves, others notice and don’t like, as well. We feel that all our failures are out there for all to see, and that everyone else is noticing them. From this type of thinking, we can worry and fear what others may be thinking, then we can spend a lot of energy trying to hide and conceal our shortcomings. We may even go to great lengths to distract others from our shortcomings by turning the focus on their “flaws”.

The truth is, when we do this, we’re the only ones that experience the negative consequences of this type of worry. It negatively affects our outlook on life, and our health. It also restricts the relationships we have, and therefore greatly diminishes the amount of joy we draw from life.

The bottom line: Overly critical thinking only sabotages OUR health and life. No one else's. We become our own worst enemy and the roadblock to a happier more satisfying life.

We are all sojourners on this path of life, and we all have our positive traits (strengths) and less than positive traits (shortcomings). We can CHOOSE to focus on one or the other. Focusing on the positive will bring us peace, joy, calm, and contentment. Focusing on the negative will bring us stress, fear, worry, and anxiety.

To enhance your quality of life and of those around you, here are some thoughts and behaviors you may wish to consider adopting:

• I choose to spend my energy looking for the positives in others.
• I want to be known as a person that is supporting and encouraging to others.
• Let my eyes search only for the positives that lie within each person, and then celebrate and encourage those attributes.
• Let my mouth speak only those words that will lift up and support another.
• We are all imperfect.
• We all make mistakes.
• We are human.
• When someone “hits the ditch” in life, let my hands reach out to help that person back onto the road without being critical of their mistake.
• When I “hit the ditch”, may I recognize that I, too, am human. In my humanness, may I embrace an outstretched helping hand, and welcome the kind words of encouragement that come with it.

Peace, joy, calm, and contentment can come through the choices we make. Are you making choices that enrich or sabotage your happiness and health?

For more information about anxiety symptoms, see our Anxiety Symptoms section.

NOTE: The Member's area of our website contains a more comprehensive section on anxiety symptoms, including completed descriptions, why they occur, and tips on how to get rid of them.