Hi, my name is Marc, and I would like to share my story about my struggles with anxiety disorder.
To make a long story short, because as people know, every day with anxiety disorder can be a full 300-page story in itself, to say the least! In my case, it was, for sure.
At the age of 31 years old, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder after several doctor visits, including a neurologist. In my case, I always lived a life with strong irrational fears, and my use of recreational drugs didn’t help. I was unlucky in the fact that I experienced close to 50+ symptoms, and every one of them were extremely intense during those awful years.
Like most people, I searched the Internet like crazy trying to find out what was going on with me. In fact, I searched so much that it became a strong obsession.
The Internet, however, was helpful because there were a lot of great websites available (I did try some techniques that I thought were good), but the intensity of my symptoms were way too strong so I thought I needed to seek extra help in a therapeutic way. This meant I needed to talk to someone and preferably someone who already dealt with the many crappy symptoms I had.
When I went to a psychiatrist, he told me that I needed to be on medication for the rest of my life! But I said, "Oh no, this will not happen to me mister," even though I didn’t trust in my own statement at that time.
After that, I found anxietycentre.com and was able to contact someone who understood my struggle perfectly. Finally I was able to start some telephone sessions.
Now let me explain. My condition was no joke! The intensity was 24/7 without almost no breaks or rest!! My most concerning symptoms were the unbalance/dizzy feelings, depersonalization, and having a strong aggressive feeling.
- The unbalance feeling was so strong that I was not able to feel straight or steady on my feet. It also felt like someone was pushing me from the back all the time, and some days the discouragement was severe.
- The aggressive feeling was a sensation in my body that is really hard to explain. I felt I needed to squeeze objects until it hurt enough so that it felt better when I released them. It was like an extreme rush of aggressiveness that needed to be released. It was horrific to say the least.
- Now the depersonalization! Another quite scary sensation. I don’t know about other people, but for me, this symptom presented itself with a succession of really weird thoughts plus a strong feeling that nothing felt normal—everything was strange like a badddddddd drug trip, and for hours and hours.
Friends, family members, and relatives were all very helpful, but nobody—and I mean nobody—got a hint of how bad I was feeling. It affected everything I did: my spiritual state, daily activities, job, etc. Needless to say, it was an awful time!
I can go on and on with everything that I went through, but my ultimate goal is to let people know that the sensations and symptoms GO AWAY with time, even if you don’t believe it now! Just because the body is playing the same old tricks again and again, doesn’t mean it will forever. I remember when I got three to four days in a row with almost no awful sensations and symptoms, it was a massive relief!! And the more I continued with everything related to relaxing, doing new things, and training, etc., the more and more those sensations and symptoms went away; all of them; from electric shock to panic attack, or anything else. They ALL completely went away (NONE OF THEM stayed).
Let me be clear. When my body returned to normal health, there were NO sensations or symptoms left, except for the regular stress that I was dealing with before my body got really overstimulated.
I understand that it’s not easy to always do the right thing. Even now (35 years old) sometimes I look at what I am doing and say to myself, "Man, I did not take care of myself recently." I continue to work at this, but it’s no longer about being afraid of the sensations and symptoms, and no more being concerned with anxiety disorder. This is in the past now and it will stay there forever ...............
Through this experience, I've learned to accept things differently in life, being more open to try new things, being calmer, and not being over responsible at my job, and many other things.
I want to take this opportunity to thank Doug Wildman and Jim Folk for their help and support. I’ve been working with them for close to three years and it was worth it. I started with an extreme 'disorder' and I’m proud of the achievement that I’ve made through all the ups and downs, and all the negativity I felt inside due to my mental state.
I hope this story will encourage others who are discouraged or who may not believe they can recover. I was in that place for a long, long time. But the body and brain are well made and recover by themselves if we calm them down and change our attitude toward our sensations and symptoms. The sensations and symptoms of anxiety are all a lie, and will always be a lie. They aren’t something we need to be afraid of.
Marc
ex-anxiety disorder sufferer |
